This is one of my favorite expressions of all time, thank you Dr. Dan Siegel. It ties in emotional awareness and mindfulness in a very simple way. Give this a try the next time you or your child become flooded with a big emotion like anger, sadness, or hurt.
All you have to do is: first, name the emotion.
Ask your child (or yourself- this one’s not just for the kids!) “what am I feeling right now and where”?
Really identify the emotion… If it’s anger chances are there is a more vulnerable emotion under there maybe feeling disrespected, hurt, or rejected. Where is the anger- does it feel like heat in the chest, a fast heartbeat, a clenched jaw?
It’s all the in the pause, people! Those couple seconds can make such a big difference.
Then ask “why?”. Give yourself or your child the space to figure out why does this feel so big, intense, and real.
By taking the time to go through this process it can help lessen the intensity and the reaction. By listening to the body it can give us some clues to what we need; maybe a break from the conversation, a rest, some deep breaths, or a hug.
Resources:
https://www.drdansiegel.com/books/the_whole_brain_child/2/
If your child could use some guidance developing emotional regulation skills, please check out our groups for children. We go over the basics of labeling emotions, noticing where we feel it in our bodies, and practicing mindfulness to develop the ability to diffuse intense emotions.