Birthdays can bring up odd emotions.
We live in a culture that is not very kind to aging–seeing it more as a liability or hindrance to beauty that must be avoided or prevented for as long as possible, rather than the gift of more time to explore our lives and experience joys.
Sometimes birthdays can be hard if you’re experiencing conflict in your relationships, making it feel like you can’t celebrate with the people you normally would. Or if you’re not in the mood for a big party or celebration, it can feel like you’re being boring or not doing anything to acknowledge the event.
If you aren’t sure how to mark the date, but don’t quite feel like throwing a party, here are 4 reflective practices you can use to think over your last year, and how you want the coming year to look for you.
Choose photos from the last year to print:
Go back to your birthday last year in your camera roll, and try and find one or two pictures from each month that you’d like to print. As you look through, think about the pictures you have. What do you photograph the most? What seems to make you happiest? Who do you remember spending the most time with? What about these moments felt important to capture? What moments would you like to be able to scroll through next birthday?
Have a small dinner party:
Less of a hooplah than a traditional party, and more of a time to get together with close friends or loved ones to sit and talk about the moments that meant the most, or really stuck out to you over the last year. You can talk about moments you all felt pride, the most joyful moments of the year, when you wished you asked for help, one major thing you learned over the year, etc. It doesn’t have to be formal, just taking even a few minutes during a regular dinner with friends to acknowledge how you spent your last year before moving on can be a great way to reflect on what has been most important to you and your growth over the last year.
Call that friend you haven’t talked to since last year:
Staying in touch with everyone you love can be tricky–especially since in the world we live in, you can know people from all over the world. Maybe it’s a friend you met online, or someone you grew up with who you now live far away from, or a local friend who’s schedule completely clashes with yours and time just got away from you so you haven’t seen them in a year. Whoever it is, find twenty minutes to give them a call and see how they’re doing. What will you want to catch up on from the past year? What feels important to mention? It can also be a nice birthday treat to yourself to make time for someone you love but don’t get to see or talk to very often.
Journal:
Of course, journaling is always a great mindfulness option. Take some time to sit with your journal and consider the last year. If you don’t have anything in particular you want to dive into, ask yourself:
What were the moments I was happiest this year?
When did I struggle the most?
How often did I let myself ask for help?
When did I wish I asked for help, but didn’t? And why?
What moments felt most fulfilling for me (socially, professionally, emotionally) this last year?
What did I learn about myself this last year?
How can I see that I’ve grown?
What am I most proud of myself for?