Encouraging a Healthy Relationship With Technology

We can’t really escape our teens having a relationship with technology from an early age. Our lives are so intertwined with the internet that even if they wanted to avoid it, they wouldn’t really be able to. And while being overly plugged in isn’t good for teens, being totally disconnected isn’t good either! There are a lot of wonderful things that technology offers our teens–venues for self expression and exploration, connecting with other peers, and learning. 

But too much time with technology can have negative impacts on your teens sleep health, concentration, and their mental health. Social media alone is a minefield for not even just teenagers but everyone’s mental health–the ease of comparing ourselves to others has never been easier, and we’re all seeing ourselves as coming up short. 

On top of that, excessive time online often corresponds to increased time alone. While alone time isn’t a bad thing (we all need it now and then), spending the majority of your time alone, online, can exacerbate feelings of isolation, loneliness, and make seeking those real life connections seem more daunting than when we have a foundation of support.  

So how do you figure out the balance? Here are four tips to help encourage a healthy relationship with technology with your teen. 

Set household boundaries 

Boundaries are the key to healthy relationships–with other people and with things like technology. And while you can’t determine the boundaries your teen sets with technology outside of home, you can help them develop strong boundaries at home. Have phone free-time, where no one in the family is on their phone or computer. You can start simple with this, like saying no phones at dinner. You’ll all be eating anyway, so it’s not a big loss to give up a phone then. You could also make bedrooms a screen-free zone. This can also help stop that mindless scrolling before bed that can disrupt our sleep health. And when your teen learns to let themselves be bored again (without immediately grabbing their phone to entertain them) they’ll be able to mindfully engage with the environment around them, and develop meaningful hobbies.  

Lead by example 

Setting boundaries that only apply to your teen won’t teach them the importance of a balanced relationship with technology–it will just feel like a punishment. Instead, when you’re asking your teen to have tech-free time, that should be tech free time for you too.  

Encourage offline alternatives

A wonderful aspect of the internet is that it allows us to connect with other like minded people. But too much time online–even if connecting virtually with others–can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially if that’s the only method of socializing your teen has. Instead, help them find real world connections. What are the interests they’re exploring online? Are their clubs or interest groups in your town that they could take part in? 

Don’t consider it one and done

As time goes on, be ready to re-asses and adjust boundaries as you may need to. Sometimes you may need to loosen up on them, and other times they may have to be even firmer. Consider your teens overall health. Things like:

• How are they sleeping?

• Are their grades consistent?

• How are their emotions after spending time online? (Do they use it in a healthy, positive way, or do you find they’re often irritable or drained or insecure or judgemental after lots of screen time?) 

• How is their social life?  

• Do they have hobbies that get them outside or moving their bodies?

Why Encouraging Outdoor Play for Kids Matters

“Play gives children a chance to practice what they are learning.” - Fred Rogers

When is the last time your child was able to play? Have you noticed how sweet is it to witness them fully present in a moment, unperturbed by any stressors, just throwing themselves into imaginative adventures or joyful activity? Play is crucial for a plethora of reasons. At it’s most basic, through this activity, kids learn about the world around them, and about each other; collecting and cataloging new information while expanding their toolbox of skills. 

Mindfulness, effective communication and conflict resolution are all embedded in play. As they play with others, kids also have to learn how to make space for each other, how to share their belongings, how to include one another equally or fairly, what to do when conflict or hurt feelings come up, and how to get new ideas from one another and be collaborative. 

Play is also a cure for boredom! It gives their minds an opportunity to get creative and solve the problem of their boredom. The more they do this, the more they’re strengthening their creativity and problem solving skills. 

What else does play do for kids?

Play helps to foster feelings of independence. When you leave playtime up to kids, it gives them the chance to use their time exactly as they want to, which is important for all of us sometimes, and something that children get to experience so infrequently. Most of their time is dictated by others, so giving them time that belongs 100% to them is important. They deserve to feel as though they can control some areas of their lives–and being in control of playtime is a great way to accomplish that. 

Play also helps build emotional intelligence. In instances of frustration–either when playing with someone else or when playing on their own–your child will get the chance to learn to deal with their own unpleasant emotions as they pop up. 

So why outdoor play?

While there are plenty of wonderful ways to play and be creative indoors, it’s critical to encourage healthy outdoor play! 

Encouraging outdoor play by nature encourages more physical play–there’s more space for running, jumping, kicking, throwing, and playing sports. This time spent on more physical activities can help build a positive relationship between movement and your child–and gives them the chance to find a manner of getting moving that is fun for them, which will make them want to do it more! By encouraging outdoor activities, you can help to develop a positive relationship with movement in your child from a young age. 

Encouraging kids to play outdoors from a young age also helps to cultivate a positive relationship with nature which we’re learning can have a positive influence on our mental health! It gives them the space to run around and embrace their creativity in an environment where there aren’t consequences for being messy (they won’t ruin a carpet or break a prized family heirloom, or color all over the walls, etc). 

It can also help them develop a stronger relationship with their community. Your yard isn’t the only outdoor place your child can play! There are public parks, hiking trails, bike trails, and other community spaces to explore. 

You can go with them and teach them about traffic safety when walking to new places, how to ask for help, how to get home, and safe places nearby. You can help teach them about your community so that when they are independent enough to walk or bike places on their own you can be confident you’ve empowered them with the information they need to keep themselves safe. And when they’re at parks or community spaces they might meet new friends, or find out about new clubs or teams. 

This list is a good place to start for age appropriate outdoor activities, but you can also just use it as an opportunity to connect with your child. Ask them what they want to do–how do they like to play outside? Is there a game they want to teach you? 

Remember to model the behavior you want them to learn to–that means getting outside and playing yourself too! 

Understanding and Fostering Teenage Brain Development

What do you know about your teens' brain development? 

Most of us don’t learn specifics about when and how our brain is developed. But understanding your teens' brain development can help you foster healthy development for them. 

So what do you need to know about teenage brain development? 

Well, by age six, your child’s brain is about 90-95% grown. However, just because their brains are nearly adult sized so young, they aren’t done developing until well into adolescence. And within adolescence, the brain undergoes a sort of “remodeling.” In this remodeling, what’s called the gray matter of the brain–which is really unused thinking and processing connections inside of the brain–are eliminated and other, more useful, connections are strengthened. 

This process begins at the back of the brain, moving forward from there, “remodeling” as it goes. Understanding this can explain changes in behavior between adolescence–when there’s often a lack of consideration for consequences, lots of risk taking behavior, and poor impulse control–and young adulthood, as the front of the brain, which gets “remodeled” last, is the part of the brian responsible for decision making.

So, while the decision making part of the brain is still underdeveloped, the amygdala does most of the work when it comes to making decisions in teenage brains. 

What is the amygdala? The amygdala is the part of the brain linked with emotion, instinctive behavior, impulses and aggression. Knowing this, we can see why teenagers can seem emotional, “dramatic,” immature, or frequently engaging in risky behaviors. (Their brains literally are not done maturing!)

However–the teen brain has a lot of plasticity, which means that teenage brains are easily able to change and adapt to their environment. So with challenging and creative mental activities or academic work, their brains can learn and mature! But what this also means is how your teen spends their time is important, and has a direct impact on their brain development. They may need some guidance! 

So, what else can you do to nurture healthy brain development in your teen? 

Encourage independence and healthy risks: 

Can you help your teen foster a strong sense of their own identity? That way, they can feel confident in acting true to themselves, and take healthy risks, rather than risks brought on by fear or pressure or a poorly thought out impulse. 

Give them healthy, creative outlets for their emotions: 

If your teen can learn to identify what they are feeling as they are feeling it, and take time to process why they’re feeling it, rather than acting on it right away, they can learn to better control those risky impulses, and not be controlled by their overwhelming emotions. In order to do this, they need to have some sort of method for expressing or exploring their feelings once they’ve identified them. This could be through art or talking or music or movement–help them find a way that works for them. 

Help them develop and strengthen their problem solving skills: 

Don’t solve their problems for them, but help them walk through their options, so they can figure out how they want to handle things for themselves. This also teaches them the process of problem solving, so they’ll be able to apply that again on their own once they’ve practiced it enough with you. 

Encourage good sleep hygiene: 

Teens need between eight and ten hours of sleep a night, but most are definitely not getting that. Help your teen establish a more reliable sleep routine so they can get a decent number of restful hours of sleep. Also help them make sure their environment is good for sleeping. Are their bed and pillow comfortable, or are they waking up with some kind of ache that interferes with their sleep? Is their sleep disturbed by something else? Is it quiet or dark enough in their bedroom? Do they use screens right up until they fall asleep? 

Helping them establish better sleep hygiene will show up in so many areas of their life; it will help with their mood, their ability to regulate their emotions, their overall physical health, their problem solving skills, etc. Good sleep is so important, especially for teens! 

If you’re looking for additional support for your teen, come talk to us about our groups for teens: 

DBT Skills Group

Simply Social Group

LGBTQIA+ Group

Teens Empowered Group

Strong Girls Group

Strong Kids Group

Building Resilience in Kids

What does it mean to be resilient?

To be reliant is to have the ability to navigate tough situations and difficult circumstances, and to recover from setbacks. Basically, it’s your ability to “bounce back.” When something hard happens, are you completely leveled by it? Or do you (after allowing yourself to feel whatever emotions you need to) find a way to pick yourself up and carry on? Do you allow yourself to feel your emotions, while still able to remind yourself that they won’t last forever? That’s what resilience is. 

This isn’t something that comes naturally to most of us–we have to develop it as a skill and practice it, and the more we do, the better we’re able to bounce back after something tough happens. But, unfortunately,  that puts some at an advantage over others. Those without supportive relationships, particularly healthy familial relationships have a much harder time developing this sense of resilience. 

In fact, in researching this sense of resilience within children, it was found that strong relationships with important adults in their family and community was one of the key common threads among children who had that strong ability to “bounce back.” Those strong relationships could be important for any number of reasons including: 

• Providing children guidance on how to navigate difficult situations

• Offering advice or helping the children problem solve to decide how to move forward 

• Providing a sense of security and safety for the children, so they know they are still protected when they are navigating hardships 

So how can you help your child build resilience?

Prioritize the health of your relationship: 

Like we mentioned above, the common thread within those who have a strong sense of resilience is a strong connection and relationship with the significant adults in their lives. These strong relationships show your child that they are loved and protected. That’s a baseline need we all have–care and safety–in order to thrive. When they know they are loved and protected, they are able to be more vulnerable, and able to face difficult situations knowing failure is an option because they will have someone to support them even if they do fail. 

Remember not all stress is harmful: 

No, it’s never pleasant to feel stress, but there is a distinction between regular stress and chronic or toxic stress. We all deal with stress: when we’re giving a presentation at work that we really want to get right, when we want to make a good impression on someone, when we’re working hard at school, etc. None of these things are necessarily bad things, they are just uncomfortable for us–but they also often lead to growth. It’s important to empower your child to learn the difference between regular, manageable stress and toxic stress. When they learn to manage their stress, they gain a feeling of confidence in their problem solving skills, in their intelligence, in their abilities overall. 

Be a sounding board instead of a problem solver: 

Give your child a chance to solve their own problems. Obviously, when things are out of their scope and need to be handled by a parent, it’s your job to step in. But not every problem they face needs to be solved by you. Give them space to try and figure things out for themselves. Ask them questions to help guide them through their problem, (“what do you think would help make you feel better” etc.) but resist the temptation to just instruct them on what to do. 

Encourage self kindness and trying again: 

If how they decide to navigate the situation ends up not helping, give them credit for trying. It’s very hard to try things especially when we don’t know if they’ll work, so fostering a sense of positivity over just trying to navigate your problems as best as you can (even if it’s not perfect) is important! Have them praise themselves for trying, tell them you’re proud of them for the attempt, etc. Let them know in life things are rarely one strike and you’re out, so they are always allowed to try again. 

If you’re looking for support for your child, come talk to us about one of our Groups for Kids! 

Navigating School Refusal

“I’m not going!”

“Yes you are, get your bookbag, we have to leave”

“No, you can’t make me. I don’t want to go, I hate school! ”

These types of interactions occur on a daily basis, and have grown even more challenging as we have collectively worked to navigate the pandemic. Children and teens have been expected to be resilient and flexible, and seamlessly implement a set of adaptive skills that are in many ways brand new to them.

If you have been encountering resistance when it’s time for your child to go to school, it’s important to consider if your child has the skills to articulate the source of their distress. When expressing concern, is your being met with irritation, or an invitation to connect and collaboratively problem solve the challenges they’re facing. 

The first step to navigating it, is to understand why your child is resisting or refusing. School refusal is frequently seen as a behavioral issue; an intentional choice but that is frequently not the case!

Kids resist school for many reasons beyond stubbornness or rebellious behavior. These could be things like: 

Anxiety 

There could be many reasons that attending school causes anxiety in your child. They might struggle leaving you, due to fear that without you there something bad will happen to either you or them. They might struggle with social anxiety, so time outside of structured class time, or the thought of a teacher calling on them might cause extreme distress.

Academic difficulties 

If your child struggles in class, school is naturally going to be distressing for them! It’s hard to sit through class and not know why you’re not understanding. Not only does it have academic consequences, but it also can impact your child’s self esteem! Whether it’s a particular subject they’re having difficulty with, or an undiagnosed learning disability (on average 2 in 5 people with learning disabilities go undiagnosed in childhood) 

Depression

Just as with anxiety, depression is another common mental health issue that could be affecting your child’s distress level at school. If they’re depressed, managing the tasks required of them probably seems much more daunting than it is! 

Social Problems 

This could be bullying, feeling lonely or isolated, having trouble making friends, fighting with their current friends, etc. But there is a huge social aspect to school! These are usually going to be their peers from kindergarten to senior year, so it can feel devastating when you feel like you don’t fit in. 

What can you do about school refusal?

Tackling school refusal is a team effort–and that team needs to start with you and your child. Make it clear to them that you are on their side, and also that this problem, which might feel insurmountable to them, is one you can handle together. 

Beyond you and your child, your team will probably need some support from the school itself. If your child is resisting school for academic reasons, they might need special help. That could be smaller, more supportive classes, teachers with a different teaching style than the one your child is struggling with, tutors, peer support, etc. Talk to your child’s teacher and/or school guidance counselor about what options are available to better support your child’s academic health! 

If they are struggling to manage mental health issues it’s important to get them connected with a child mental health care professional. The school may also have resources to guide you there! But child counseling is a great way to provide your child support in dealing with anxiety or depression, and to help teach them coping skills so they can thrive in their time outside of session as well. 

You're Not Listening!!!

“You’re not listening!”  

This phrase is spoken, but the majority of the time yelled – several times within arguments!  If someone doesn’t change their mind or point of view to ours, we believe they are not listening to us.  There are two definitions of listening when entered into Google. One we believe it to mean: “take notice of and act on what someone says, respond to advice or a request”; the other can mean: “make an effort to hear something; be alert and ready to hear something.”  Both definitions are true; the first assumes the listener will take action, and the second is noting the listener as passive.  

Listening does not guarantee action or change. 

The other party does need to provide validation that a concern is heard.  This can look like: ‘I do understand, although it does not mean I’m going to change my thought or action.’  For example, for kids or teens: ‘I get you’re angry about being grounded and you’re allowed to be, but it is not changing’ or ‘I know you hate when I ask you to clean up before we go to bed as much as I hate doing the dishes, but we clean up after ourselves.”

According to John and Julie Gottman, “when a person’s heart rate is above 100 beats a minute, or their oxygen is below 95 percent, they can’t listen very well. They can’t empathize. They lose access to their sense of humor. They’re secreting two major stress hormones: adrenaline and cortisol” (“A New Wave of Systems Theory and Therapy Now Includes Scientific Inquiry”).

We do not listen to listen. We listen to respond the majority of the time.  

At times, we want our point of view to come across louder, in turn, becoming more defensive in arguments. Therefore, we are thinking about our response even before the other party is finished speaking.  To practice listening: take a deep breath to lower your heart rate and try to repeat the other parties’ statement how you understood them.  This also provides validation to others.

The Benefits of Gratitude (Yes, Even in 2020)

At this time of year, we spend a lot of time collectively talking about gratitude. The Thanksgiving holiday the way it’s typically celebrated is designed to be a way for folks to reflect on what they’re thankful for. However, in a year that’s been as nightmarish as 2020, it might be hard to find reasons to celebrate or be grateful. After all, this year has been pretty tough on our mental and physical health, our finances, our families, and our communities. It might feel pointless or foolish to make a big show out of gratitude when we’re not really feeling it. Even though it’s understandable to feel this way, gratitude is actually a beneficial practice. You might not feel that there’s a lot to be grateful for right now, but practicing gratitude can actually help increase your psychological well being, which can increase your resilience and make you happier, even in tough times. 

Here are some research-backed ways that practicing gratitude can benefit you:

Regularly reflecting on gratitude can make us happier

Studies have shown that taking the time to reflect regularly on what we’re thankful for can help to remind us of the good things we have in life, increasing our level of happiness. A lot of us tend to focus on the negative (if that’s true for you, you’re not alone - negativity bias means we do this habitually as a species, even though it’s no longer necessary for our survival), so forcing ourselves to focus on the positive can have a powerful impact. 

Gratitude can increase self-esteem

As mentioned above, focusing on the things we are grateful for can help remind us of what’s going well in our lives. Regularly reminding ourselves of all the positive things around us can make us feel better about our situations and ourselves. Even when times are hard, you can think about how grateful you are for things like your own resilience, for your community, for your creativity, or your own company.

Gratitude inspires self-care

Self-care is more important than ever in a year where loneliness, mental health issues, and grief have run rampant. Self-care isn’t just about pampering yourself or doing things that are fun (although, of course, those are important aspects of self-care), it’s about actively making time to take care of ourselves. This can mean fun things, like taking baths and buying yourself presents, but it also means things like getting regular checkups from the doctor, making movement a regular practice, eating foods that nourish you, taking your medicine, and asking for help when you need it. Regularly focusing on gratitude has been shown to correlate with behaviors that support well-being, like self-care. 

Gratitude improves our relationships 

Not only does gratitude help improve our relationships with ourselves, it can also help us improve the relationships we have with others. People who have a gratitude practice have larger social networks than people who don’t, and they also tend to have better relationships. Showing gratitude can make us seem more trustworthy or social, and it’s a great way to make other people feel good. 

The nice thing about gratitude is that it works year-round, not just on the last Thursday of November. In fact, gratitude is more beneficial to folks the more they practice it, so you’ll feel even better the more you focus on what you’re thankful for. If you’re having trouble figuring out how gratitude fits into your life, our therapists can help. Get in touch with us today!

The Benefits of Utilizing Telehealth

With the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic across the globe, we’ve had to learn pretty quickly how to adapt. One way life is different is that instead of in-person interactions, many of us are interacting with others virtually to do work or catch up. More and more folks are turning to telehealth to meet their needs during the time of social distancing. 

What is telehealth?

Telehealth is just healthcare you access online. In the mental health world, telehealth is often referred to as telemental health, to distinguish it from other types of telehealth. Online therapy, or telehealth, has been around in different forms for a while (the Department of Veterans Affairs has been offering remote sessions for 20 years). Therapy that is offered via telehealth has been shown in research to be just as effective as therapy delivered in person. 

Social distancing isn’t the only time where telehealth comes in handy, though. Telehealth is a tool that can be used in a number of situations to help improve access to therapy. 

What are the benefits of telehealth? 

It makes therapy convenient

Telehealth makes therapy more accessible than ever. There are times when making the trip to a therapy office isn’t realistic - like during a blizzard or hurricane, in the middle of a global pandemic, or when you don’t have reliable transportation. Telehealth fills the gap so that you don’t miss out on therapy by not being able to make it to the office in person. 

Many insurance plans now cover telemental health, especially in the wake of COVID-19, which makes it more likely that people can use and benefit from telehealth. Insurance is only one aspect of accessibility though - some therapy offices may not be able to make accommodations to make their space accessible to folks with mobility issues. Some people don’t have access to regular or reliable transportation, which can make it difficult to get to appointments on time. Telehealth removes those barriers (for the most part - not everyone has internet access or a device to use) for many folks so they can take advantage of therapy.  

It makes therapy more comfortable

Attending therapy via telehealth means you get to be in your own environment. Of course, there are some situations where this won’t be true (if you’re using telehealth while you’re traveling, you might not be in your own space), but for the most part, you get to be in your comfort zone. You can sit wherever you feel the most comfortable. You can have water or a hot beverage handy, or keep your pet on your lap. These things might sound small, but they can provide a sense of comfort while you get used to telehealth. 

It helps with consistency

Since telehealth makes therapy more accessible, it also makes it easier to be consistent with your sessions. Since you don’t need to plan for travel time + you can access your session wherever you have an internet connection, it’s easier to make time for therapy every week (or however often you go). 

It helps prioritize mental health

Telehealth can make it easier to prioritize your mental health. If you’re constantly struggling to find time in your schedule, it might be hard to fit a regular therapy appointment, especially when you consider the transportation time. Telehealth cuts out the transportation time, so it’s easier for folks to step away from what they’re doing, attend therapy, and then continue on with their day. Telehealth helps to minimize the interruption of therapy so you can still get the benefits of therapy while making it work for your schedule. Prioritizing your mental health is an important aspect of self-care, and telehealth can make that happen for many people who haven’t had the opportunity to tend to themselves in that way before. 

It gives you options

Telehealth isn’t just for individual therapy, either. Many therapists offer virtual groups, child therapy, couples therapy, and more via telehealth, so whatever your needs are, you can find an option that works for you. Since you don’t need to travel to the therapist’s office, you have more providers to choose from. If you are looking to work with someone with a certain specialty, you may have an easier time finding someone who can meet with you virtually instead of waiting to find the perfect person in your town. Telehealth is an opportunity to bring family members together, even over physical distance, for counseling. For example, if a couple normally attends counseling together but one person is out of town, the couple can still meet for their session virtually. 

Telehealth might seem strange at first, but it actually has a lot of benefits, like improving accessibility and adding a sense of convenience and comfort to your therapy session. If you’re interested in learning more about telehealth, get in touch with us today and we can answer your questions! 

7 Ways to Strengthen Your Connection with Your Teen

Did you know that, according to the US Department of Health & Human Services, teens who feel comfortable with open and regular communication between themselves and their parents are less likely to engage in risky behaviors?

However, the key here isn’t just that the teen feels that they can talk to their parents–it’s that their parent is actively listening, as well as facilitating and prioritizing that connection. 

Creating this feeling of openness, support, and trust isn’t just telling your teen, “You can talk to me about anything!” While the sentiment may be true and well-intentioned, just like any other relationship, there is foundational work that needs to be done to back it up. If you aren’t connected to your teen on an emotional level, they aren’t going to feel comfortable coming to you, no matter how many times you tell them you’re there to talk. 

So how can you begin to create this connection?

1) MAKE YOUR HOME AN OPEN AND WELCOME SPACE

Let your teens know that your space is a safe and welcome space not just for them, but for their friends as well. A huge indicator if a teen feels comfortable at home is whether or not they feel comfortable inviting their friends over. When their friends are over, welcome them into your home, but don’t hover. Give them space to just relax and exist as teens together. If you want to indicate that you’re happy for your teen to have their friends over, small things are always better: Ask the friend if they are staying for dinner, tell them it was good to see them, etc. A home where your teen’s social circle is comfortable and supported is a home where your teen will feel comfortable and supported. 

2) ESTABLISH SMALL TRADITIONS

Maybe Tuesday night is family dinner night. Maybe you pick one day a week to take a hike. Find some small activity that you and your teen enjoy doing together, and prioritize it in your schedules. Having a consistent regular activity that you both enjoy will help to strengthen that connection, and allow you to bond with your teen more organically. 

3) BE OPEN AND GENEROUS WITH YOUR AFFECTION

Tell them you love them, say good night, ask them how their day was. Being open and generous with affection doesn’t mean your whole routine has to shift to make a grand gesture. It’s more about those little things in everyday interactions with your teen that help them know your love and support for them is constant and secure. 

4) HONOR THEIR INTERESTS

Instead of pushing them to join certain clubs or teams, ask them where their interests lie. Help them pursue the activities they feel passionate and joyful about. If you see something (a local club, activity, etc.) you think they would like based on their interests, let them know about it! Show them that their interests are important to you. 

5) PASS ON TRADITIONS AND FAMILY HISTORY

Part of facilitating that connection with your teen is helping them to feel a connection to your larger family unit as a whole. What do they know of their grandparents, their aunts and uncles, the extended family traditions? Is there a recipe your own parents taught you to make? Make time to cook it with your teen, tell them stories about how you made it with your parents. Teach them to carry on the small family rituals and traditions that your parents passed on to you. 

6) PRIORITIZE COMMUNICATION

How is communication modeled in your home? Are conflicts handled with open and clear communication? Do you try to solve problems for your teen rather than asking them what they need? Making sure your home is a space of open and direct communication will teach your teen that voicing problems is okay and even encouraged, rather than something to be punished. This shows them through action that they can feel comfortable talking to you about anything. 

7) RESPECT THEIR SPACE

Knock before you go into their room, don’t clean their room for them, leave their space just for them, etc. This might sound like it’s the opposite of working toward connection, but a crucial part of that emotional bond between you and your teen is mutual respect and trust. If you show your teen that you respect their space, that you view it at theirs, and furthermore that you see them as mature and trustworthy enough to have a space that is completely their own, they are far more likely to return that trust and support. 

Are you looking to strengthen your connection with your teen? Learn more about Sarah Wiley, LCSW, one of our teen therapists, below.