Think back to how technology has changed since you were a child. It’s come a long way, right? The way you interacted with other people then is probably different from the way your child interacts with people now. It’s not uncommon for children to have smartphones from a young age. Kids have the entire internet at their fingertips practically from birth. Not to mention, kids tend to figure out technology much faster than adults, so it’s a constant game of catch up as a parent.
Even though the technology around us is changing all the time, there are still constants in life. We will need to work with others. We will need to learn how to problem-solve on our own. We will need critical thinking skills. We will have to learn how to operate in environments that are uncomfortable for us. Technology can sometimes make it seem like these things are in the past, especially to the youngsters in our lives, but they’re still very much a part of life today.
While technology can keep us connected and teach us more than we can even imagine, it can also isolate us. It’s up to all of us to find the right balance and to teach that to our children.
Here are 5 ways to help your child develop their social skills in the digital age:
Keep tabs on what they’re using
This can feel like a losing battle, but it’s an important one. Kids always find a way to use technology to their advantage (apparently kids are even using Google Docs as a sort of chat app in class!), but that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try. Ask your child questions about their favorite apps or websites. Find out what their favorite games are. Make it a normal part of life for them to use their screens in front of you, instead of alone in their rooms. Just because something is on a screen doesn’t mean it can’t be social! It is up to you as a parent what limits to set with your child regarding their tech use.
Model good boundaries
What is your relationship with technology like? Do you unplug occasionally or do you always have your phone in your hand? Children are like sponges, so they will pick up on how you use technology in your life. Make sure you have some dedicated screen-free time every day and model good boundaries with your technology.
Encourage non-techy hobbies
One common concern with the rise of technology is that kids aren’t as active as they used to be. Life is about balance, so encourage your child to develop interests offline. Look for sports teams or social groups for things your child is interested in. Have a regular craft night with your kid. It might take some trial and error, but eventually, you and your child will find something that works for them.
Remind them to think critically about what they see
For a generation that has grown up with virtually all of the knowledge in the world on a screen in their pocket, it’s especially critical to remind them that they can’t believe everything they see online. They need to be careful about finding legitimate sources for news and for academics, but also just for being a human in the world today. It’s also important to remind them that even the things they see from their friends and family on social media are heavily curated. No one’s life is as perfect as it looks on Instagram, and comparing yourself to someone’s social media persona is a recipe for unhappiness.
Use technology with them
If you can make using technology a social event, you can kind of find the best of both worlds. Have them show you their favorite game. Play it with them. Let them see that using tech doesn’t have to be a solo experience. You can even teach them whatever technological etiquette is important to you, like looking at whoever is talking instead of looking at their phone, for example.
Children are fast learners, but they’re also malleable. This generation is growing up in pretty uncharted territory - they’re the first generation to have access to technology like this. Even though it seems like a losing battle, it is possible to raise a technologically savvy child who also has good social skills. If you need more support with your child or teen, check out our Simply Social group for boys.