We can’t really escape our teens having a relationship with technology from an early age. Our lives are so intertwined with the internet that even if they wanted to avoid it, they wouldn’t really be able to. And while being overly plugged in isn’t good for teens, being totally disconnected isn’t good either! There are a lot of wonderful things that technology offers our teens–venues for self expression and exploration, connecting with other peers, and learning.
But too much time with technology can have negative impacts on your teens sleep health, concentration, and their mental health. Social media alone is a minefield for not even just teenagers but everyone’s mental health–the ease of comparing ourselves to others has never been easier, and we’re all seeing ourselves as coming up short.
On top of that, excessive time online often corresponds to increased time alone. While alone time isn’t a bad thing (we all need it now and then), spending the majority of your time alone, online, can exacerbate feelings of isolation, loneliness, and make seeking those real life connections seem more daunting than when we have a foundation of support.
So how do you figure out the balance? Here are four tips to help encourage a healthy relationship with technology with your teen.
Set household boundaries
Boundaries are the key to healthy relationships–with other people and with things like technology. And while you can’t determine the boundaries your teen sets with technology outside of home, you can help them develop strong boundaries at home. Have phone free-time, where no one in the family is on their phone or computer. You can start simple with this, like saying no phones at dinner. You’ll all be eating anyway, so it’s not a big loss to give up a phone then. You could also make bedrooms a screen-free zone. This can also help stop that mindless scrolling before bed that can disrupt our sleep health. And when your teen learns to let themselves be bored again (without immediately grabbing their phone to entertain them) they’ll be able to mindfully engage with the environment around them, and develop meaningful hobbies.
Lead by example
Setting boundaries that only apply to your teen won’t teach them the importance of a balanced relationship with technology–it will just feel like a punishment. Instead, when you’re asking your teen to have tech-free time, that should be tech free time for you too.
Encourage offline alternatives
A wonderful aspect of the internet is that it allows us to connect with other like minded people. But too much time online–even if connecting virtually with others–can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially if that’s the only method of socializing your teen has. Instead, help them find real world connections. What are the interests they’re exploring online? Are their clubs or interest groups in your town that they could take part in?
Don’t consider it one and done
As time goes on, be ready to re-asses and adjust boundaries as you may need to. Sometimes you may need to loosen up on them, and other times they may have to be even firmer. Consider your teens overall health. Things like:
How are they sleeping?
Are their grades consistent?
How are their emotions after spending time online? (Do they use it in a healthy, positive way, or do you find they’re often irritable or drained or insecure or judgemental after lots of screen time?)
How is their social life?
Do they have hobbies that get them outside or moving their bodies?